As I was leaving the gym tonight (my favorite 30 minutes to myself...never thought I'd look forward to working out like I do...the "at home" workout just isn't enough seperation for me!), I started thinking about how great it feels to be getting back to myself again. Aidan turned 5 months today & I can honestly say that I am really starting to smile & mean it, laugh & feel it, & when I cry its for a reason (well most of the time anyways!:)
Yes, I admit the postpardum rollercoaster is a crappy part of my life after having babies. Its been a rough few months for the Ashby family...even if you don't count the hours of crying, nursing problems, hiding in my "cave" for as long as I could, or the time I tried to "run away" and hit our other car parked in the driveway as I was pulling out of the garage (and then drove around for an hour bawling with no where to go (miss that Oregon coast) & returned home because I had to pump). (Oh man! At least I can smile about it now.):)
But feeling so terrible (during my pregnancy and after) has done a few good things for me...
#1 I have gained alot more empathy for those who are in chronic pain. At least I knew (or hoped) there was a light at the end of the tunnel--so many live daily with pain and have no end in sight.
#2 It made me realize (once again) that I can't do everything myself. I have been blessed with the desire to be independant so asking for help is not easy. Thanks to my Father in Heaven (typically after ASKING for it) I recieved the help I needed to "survive".
#3 It has made me so grateful for my great healthy boys. It sure isn't easy getting them here, but at least I am blessed to have them. I guess time (& of course prayer) will tell if we'll have more (Bob keeps telling me to get rid of the baby stuff):), but it was this time last year that I starting on the ZoFran(an anti-nausea drug they use for chemo patients)and I feel sick even thinking about it.
#4 Its made me appreciate Bob for working so hard for our family. I feel very blessed to be able to stay at home with my boys. I wouldn't have it any other way. The transition to a "stay at home mom" after I had Ethan was very difficult for me for a number of reasons, but I finally decided my dreams of conquering the corporate world can wait until my babies are older. (So what if I'll be a raisin...I'll be a motiviated, hip, experienced raisin with no regrets!) Thank-you Bob!
So, cheers to feeling better!
Labels: "Inspirations" for Moms